Living together before marriage, often referred to as cohabitation, is a topic that generates much discussion and varying opinions within the Christian community. To address this question from a non-denominational Christian perspective, it is important to consider the biblical principles that guide Christian living, particularly in the context of relationships, ethics, and morality.
The Bible does not explicitly mention the term "premarital sex" or "cohabitation," but it provides clear guidance on sexual morality and the sanctity of marriage. One of the foundational scriptures on this topic is found in Genesis 2:24, where it states, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." This verse highlights God's design for marriage as a covenantal union between a man and a woman, where sexual intimacy is reserved for the marriage relationship.
In the New Testament, the Apostle Paul provides further guidance on sexual morality. In 1 Corinthians 6:18-20, Paul writes, "Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body." Here, Paul emphasizes the importance of sexual purity and the need to honor God with our bodies, which includes abstaining from sexual immorality.
Living together before marriage often places couples in situations where sexual temptation is heightened. The close proximity and intimacy that come with cohabitation can make it challenging to maintain sexual purity. Hebrews 13:4 states, "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous." This verse underscores the importance of keeping the marriage bed pure and honoring the sanctity of the marital relationship.
Moreover, the decision to live together before marriage can have broader implications for one's witness as a Christian. Jesus calls His followers to be the "light of the world" and to live in a manner that reflects His teachings (Matthew 5:14-16). Cohabitation may lead to perceptions that are inconsistent with Christian values and can potentially cause others to stumble in their faith. Romans 14:13 reminds us, "Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother."
From a pastoral perspective, it is also important to consider the practical and relational aspects of cohabitation. Studies have shown that couples who live together before marriage often face higher rates of marital dissatisfaction and divorce. This phenomenon, sometimes referred to as the "cohabitation effect," suggests that living together before marriage may not provide the stability and commitment that a marital covenant offers. Dr. Scott Stanley, a well-known marriage researcher, has written extensively on this topic and highlights that cohabitation can create a sense of ambiguity and lower commitment levels, which can negatively impact the relationship in the long term.
In addition to the biblical and practical considerations, it is essential to reflect on the purpose and meaning of marriage from a Christian worldview. Marriage is more than a legal contract or a social arrangement; it is a sacred covenant that mirrors the relationship between Christ and the Church. Ephesians 5:25-33 beautifully illustrates this parallel, where Paul writes, "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish."
In light of these biblical teachings and the broader implications of cohabitation, it is advisable for Christian couples to refrain from living together before marriage. Instead, they should seek to honor God in their relationship by maintaining sexual purity, upholding the sanctity of marriage, and being a positive witness to others.
For couples who are already living together and seeking guidance, it is important to approach this situation with grace and compassion. The journey towards aligning one's life with biblical principles is a process, and it is essential to seek God's forgiveness and guidance. Repentance and a commitment to change are key steps in this process. James 1:5 encourages believers, "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him." Seeking counsel from a trusted pastor or Christian mentor can also provide valuable support and accountability.
Ultimately, the decision to live together before marriage should be weighed carefully in light of biblical teachings, personal convictions, and the desire to honor God in all aspects of life. By prioritizing God's design for relationships and marriage, couples can build a strong foundation for a lasting and fulfilling union that reflects the love and commitment exemplified by Christ.
