What does the Bible say about sexual desires and attraction?

Sexual desires and attraction are intrinsic parts of human nature, created by God and imbued with purpose and significance. The Bible provides a comprehensive framework for understanding these aspects of our humanity, guiding us toward a life that honors God and respects the dignity of others. To fully grasp the biblical perspective on sexual desires and attraction, we must explore the creation narrative, the moral teachings of the Old and New Testaments, and the redemptive work of Christ.

In the creation narrative, found in the book of Genesis, we see that God created human beings as sexual creatures. Genesis 1:27 states, "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them." This passage underscores the inherent goodness of our sexual nature, as it is part of God's design. Furthermore, Genesis 2:24 highlights the intended context for sexual expression: "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." Here, sexual union is presented as a profound and intimate bond within the covenant of marriage.

The Bible acknowledges that sexual desires are natural and can be a source of joy and fulfillment within the proper context. The Song of Solomon, for example, celebrates the beauty and passion of marital love. In Song of Solomon 7:10, the bride declares, "I am my beloved's, and his desire is for me." This poetic book illustrates the delight and mutual affection that characterize a healthy marital relationship.

However, the Bible also provides clear moral boundaries for sexual behavior. Sexual desires, while natural, must be directed in ways that align with God's will. The Ten Commandments, given in Exodus 20, include prohibitions against adultery and coveting one's neighbor's spouse (Exodus 20:14, 17). These commandments emphasize the importance of faithfulness and respect for the marital bond.

In the New Testament, Jesus reaffirms and deepens these moral teachings. In Matthew 5:27-28, He says, "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery.' But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Jesus' words highlight the importance of purity in thought as well as in action. Lust, which is a disordered sexual desire, is seen as contrary to God's design for human relationships.

The Apostle Paul also addresses sexual ethics in his letters to the early Christian communities. In 1 Corinthians 6:18-20, he writes, "Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body." Paul emphasizes that our bodies are sacred and that sexual immorality is a sin against our own bodies, which are temples of the Holy Spirit.

Paul also speaks to the sanctity of marriage in Hebrews 13:4: "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous." This verse reiterates the importance of keeping sexual relations within the bounds of marriage and maintaining its purity.

The Bible also addresses issues of same-sex attraction. In Romans 1:26-27, Paul describes same-sex relations as contrary to God's design: "For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error." This passage, along with others such as 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 and 1 Timothy 1:9-10, indicates that same-sex sexual activity is viewed as inconsistent with biblical teaching.

It is important to note that the Bible's teachings on sexual ethics are not merely about prohibiting certain behaviors but are also about promoting a vision of human flourishing. Sexual desires and attraction, when rightly ordered, reflect the love and faithfulness of God. They are meant to draw us into deeper relationships with one another and with God. Ephesians 5:25-33 uses the analogy of marriage to describe the relationship between Christ and the Church, highlighting the sacrificial love and unity that should characterize both.

In addition to moral teachings, the Bible offers grace and redemption for those who struggle with sexual sins. In John 8:1-11, we read the story of a woman caught in adultery. The religious leaders bring her to Jesus, seeking to trap Him. Instead of condemning her, Jesus responds with compassion and forgiveness, saying, "Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her" (John 8:7). After her accusers leave, Jesus tells the woman, "Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more" (John 8:11). This account demonstrates that while Jesus upholds moral standards, He also offers forgiveness and a call to repentance.

For Christians, the power to live according to biblical sexual ethics comes from the Holy Spirit. Galatians 5:16-17 encourages believers to "walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do." The Holy Spirit empowers us to resist temptation and to live in a way that honors God.

Christian literature also provides valuable insights into sexual ethics. C.S. Lewis, in his book "Mere Christianity," discusses the virtue of chastity, which he defines as the proper ordering of sexual desires. He writes, "Chastity is the most unpopular of the Christian virtues. There is no getting away from it; the Christian rule is, 'Either marriage, with complete faithfulness to your partner, or else total abstinence.'" Lewis acknowledges the difficulty of adhering to this standard but emphasizes that it is essential for living a Christian life.

Another influential Christian thinker, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, in his book "The Cost of Discipleship," speaks to the importance of self-denial and discipline in the Christian life. He writes, "When Christ calls a man, he bids him come and die." This call to die to oneself includes dying to disordered sexual desires and living in obedience to Christ.

In summary, the Bible teaches that sexual desires and attraction are part of God's good creation, intended to be expressed within the covenant of marriage between a man and a woman. While sexual desires are natural, they must be directed in ways that align with God's moral standards. The Bible provides clear guidelines for sexual behavior, emphasizing purity, faithfulness, and the sanctity of marriage. At the same time, it offers grace and redemption for those who fall short, calling them to repentance and new life in Christ. By walking in the Spirit and seeking to honor God with our bodies, we can live out the biblical vision for sexual ethics and experience the fullness of life that God intends for us.