What does the Bible say about touching others in a relationship?

In exploring what the Bible says about touching others in a relationship, it's essential to approach the subject with a heart attuned to God's wisdom and guidance. The Bible provides profound insights into human relationships, emphasizing love, respect, and purity. To understand the biblical perspective on physical touch within relationships, we must delve into the scriptures and consider the broader context of Christian ethics and morality.

Firstly, the Bible speaks extensively about the sanctity of the body and the importance of maintaining purity. In 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, the Apostle Paul writes, "Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies." This passage underscores the idea that our bodies are sacred and should be treated with the utmost respect. Physical touch in a relationship, therefore, should reflect this reverence and honor.

In the context of romantic relationships, the Bible encourages believers to pursue purity and avoid sexual immorality. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 states, "It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God." This exhortation calls for self-control and holiness, suggesting that physical touch should be approached with caution and intentionality.

The Song of Solomon, a poetic book celebrating love and marriage, provides a beautiful depiction of physical affection within the bounds of a committed, marital relationship. In Song of Solomon 2:6, the beloved says, "His left hand is under my head, and his right hand embraces me." This imagery portrays a tender and loving touch, but it is important to note that it occurs within the context of marriage. The passionate expressions of love in this book are celebrated within the covenant of marriage, highlighting the appropriate context for such intimacy.

Jesus' teachings also emphasize the importance of purity and the sanctity of marriage. In Matthew 5:27-28, Jesus says, "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Jesus extends the commandment against adultery to include even lustful thoughts, indicating that purity begins in the heart and mind. This principle can be applied to physical touch in relationships; it should be guided by pure intentions and a desire to honor God and one another.

Moreover, the Bible calls believers to love one another with a selfless, Christ-like love. In 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, often referred to as the "Love Chapter," Paul describes the nature of true love: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." This passage provides a framework for how we should treat others in a relationship, including how we approach physical touch. Love that is patient, kind, and not self-seeking will naturally respect boundaries and seek the well-being of the other person.

In practical terms, this means that physical touch in a relationship should be consensual, respectful, and appropriate for the level of commitment. For those who are dating or courting, it is wise to set boundaries that honor God and protect both individuals from temptation. This might include avoiding situations that could lead to sexual immorality and being mindful of the impact of physical touch on one's thoughts and emotions.

Christian literature also offers valuable insights on this topic. In his book "The Meaning of Marriage," Timothy Keller emphasizes the importance of understanding the purpose of physical intimacy within the context of a committed, covenantal relationship. Keller writes, "Sex is God's appointed way for two people to reciprocally say to one another, 'I belong completely, permanently, and exclusively to you.'" This perspective aligns with the biblical view that physical touch and sexual intimacy are designed to be expressions of a deep, lifelong commitment, ideally within marriage.

Furthermore, the concept of "fleeing from sexual immorality" is reiterated in various parts of the New Testament. In 1 Corinthians 6:18, Paul advises, "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body." This strong admonition suggests that believers should actively avoid situations and behaviors that could lead to sexual sin, including inappropriate physical touch.

It's also important to recognize that physical touch can be a meaningful expression of love and care in non-romantic relationships. Jesus Himself demonstrated the power of touch in His ministry. He healed the sick, comforted the afflicted, and even welcomed children with open arms. In Mark 10:13-16, we read about Jesus blessing the children: "People were bringing little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, 'Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.' And he took the children in his arms, placed his hands on them and blessed them." This passage illustrates the compassionate and healing nature of Jesus' touch, which can serve as a model for how we interact with others.

In summary, the Bible provides clear principles for physical touch in relationships, emphasizing purity, respect, and love. Our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, and we are called to honor God with our bodies. Physical touch should be approached with caution, self-control, and a heart that seeks to honor God and the other person. Within the context of marriage, physical intimacy is celebrated as a beautiful expression of love and commitment. For those who are dating or courting, setting boundaries and seeking to maintain purity is crucial. Ultimately, our actions should reflect the selfless, Christ-like love that the Bible calls us to embody in all our relationships.