What does the Bible say about being a godly spouse?

Being a godly spouse is one of the most profound and significant roles that a Christian can undertake. The Bible provides extensive guidance on how to embody this role, emphasizing love, respect, sacrifice, and mutual submission. These principles are not only foundational for a strong marriage but also reflective of the relationship between Christ and the Church.

The cornerstone of being a godly spouse is love. The Apostle Paul, in his letter to the Ephesians, vividly describes the kind of love that should characterize a marital relationship: "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" (Ephesians 5:25, NIV). This sacrificial love is not merely an emotion but an action-oriented commitment. Christ's love for the Church was demonstrated through His willingness to lay down His life. Similarly, a godly spouse is called to prioritize their partner's needs, often placing them above their own.

For wives, the Bible also speaks to the importance of respect and submission. Ephesians 5:22-24 states, "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything." This passage has often been misunderstood and misused, but it is crucial to interpret it within the context of mutual submission and love. Submission, in this sense, is not about inferiority but about a willing and loving deference that fosters unity and harmony in the marriage.

Mutual submission is further emphasized in Ephesians 5:21, which precedes the specific instructions to husbands and wives: "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." This mutual submission entails a reciprocal relationship where both spouses seek to serve and honor each other. It is a dynamic interplay of giving and receiving, rooted in a deep respect for one another as co-heirs of the grace of life (1 Peter 3:7).

Communication is another vital aspect of being a godly spouse. James 1:19 advises, "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." Effective communication involves not only speaking truthfully and lovingly but also listening attentively and empathetically. It requires patience, humility, and a willingness to understand the other person's perspective. By fostering open and honest communication, couples can navigate conflicts and misunderstandings in a way that strengthens their bond rather than eroding it.

Forgiveness is also paramount in a godly marriage. Colossians 3:13 instructs, "Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." In any close relationship, there will inevitably be moments of hurt and disappointment. However, a godly spouse must be willing to extend grace and forgiveness, just as they have received from Christ. This does not mean ignoring or condoning harmful behavior but rather choosing to let go of resentment and seeking reconciliation.

Moreover, a godly spouse is called to encourage and edify their partner. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 exhorts, "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing." This involves recognizing and affirming each other's strengths and accomplishments, as well as offering support and comfort during times of struggle. By consistently building each other up, spouses can create an environment of mutual growth and empowerment.

Prayer is another cornerstone of a godly marriage. Philippians 4:6-7 encourages believers to "not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Praying together as a couple fosters spiritual intimacy and aligns their hearts with God's will. It also provides a source of strength and guidance, helping them navigate the challenges and joys of married life.

The Bible also underscores the importance of purity and faithfulness in marriage. Hebrews 13:4 declares, "Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral." Faithfulness is not limited to physical fidelity but also encompasses emotional and mental loyalty. A godly spouse is committed to maintaining the sanctity of their marriage, avoiding any form of infidelity or inappropriate relationships that could undermine their bond.

In addition to these principles, the Bible provides numerous examples of godly spouses whose lives can serve as inspiration. For instance, the relationship between Ruth and Boaz in the Book of Ruth exemplifies loyalty, kindness, and integrity. Ruth's unwavering commitment to her mother-in-law Naomi and her respectful and humble approach to Boaz reflect the qualities of a godly spouse. Boaz, in turn, demonstrates generosity, protection, and a willingness to honor his responsibilities.

Another example is found in the relationship between Aquila and Priscilla, mentioned in the New Testament. This couple worked together as tentmakers and were also active in ministry, hosting a church in their home (Acts 18:2-3; Romans 16:3-5). Their partnership in both their professional and spiritual lives illustrates the importance of shared purpose and collaboration in a godly marriage.

Ultimately, being a godly spouse is about embodying the love, grace, and truth of Christ in the context of marriage. It involves a daily commitment to selflessness, humility, and mutual respect. It requires a willingness to grow and change, to seek God's guidance, and to prioritize the well-being of one's partner. By adhering to these biblical principles, couples can cultivate a marriage that not only honors God but also serves as a testament to His love and faithfulness.